Even though voters in Connecticut overwhelmingly narrowly told Joe Lieberman to take a hike during the Democratic primaries, it looks like good ol’ “charismatic as a two-week-old loaf of multi-grain bread” Joe is going to be sticking around these parts after all.
With a ten point deficit in the polls with only a week to go in the campaign, Democratic challenger Ned Lamont is running out of time, if not his own money which he has liberally (no pun intended) pumped into his election bid.
I believe this scenario is setting up nicely as a tribute to Connecticut’s own Stamford-based company, the World Wrestling Federation (Sorry World Wildlife Fund, you may be the WWF in our programs, but you will never truly be the WWF in our hearts.)
Imagine for a moment Mr. Lieberman standing behind the podium at his election night HQ. He’s graciously thanking his supporters for his resounding victory as an Independent. He’s standing next to fellow Democratic Senator Chris Dodd, who is sheepishly trying to extend his congratulations as well as offering a mea culpa for not clearly supporting Joe after he lost his August primary.
Slowly and tenderly, Lieberman puts his hand on the back of Dodd’s head and it looks as if the two men are going to embrace and mend their fractured relationship. Then suddenly and without warning, Joe violently slams Dodd’s head into the podium. As the senior Senator from the Nutmeg State crumples to the floor, Joe rips off his dress shirt and Armani necktie to reveal a unitard with a garish red white and blue elephant silkscreen emblazoned upon its chest.
While the assembled crowd shrieks in horrified shock, Bill Frist and Trent Lott come out from behind the screen on the stage and start high-fiving Lieberman. The trio then start putting their patent leather wingtips to Dodd’s back and abdomen as he lay there helpless. Commentators from CNN and MSNBC seated at ringside in the first few seats of the press row start shouting, “NOOOOOO!!!, THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!!!”
As Joe walks off the stage with his new posse, the PA starts to crackle and come to life. It’s blaring Joe’s new trademark theme song.
It bears repeating, Joe Lieberman has his own theme song. It kind of has a They Might Be Giants feel to it. That is if They Might Be Giants were more like your creepy substitute Fifth-Grade music teacher.
