Author: ranzino
Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.
When It Starts to Hurt, The Q-Tip is in Too Far
We have Reader’s Digest delivered to our home every month. Yes, it’s true. No, we do…
Kraft Singles, My Ass
Thanks to Dupont and their ‘ Search for the Greatest Grilled Cheese Sandwich in America Contest,’ we’ll…
Apparently, Richard Simmons Was Unavailable
Dialouge from “Tax Reform Commando” Matrix: Remember Sully when I promised to kill your wimpy socialist…
Sucks to be a Sophomore
As if we all needed another reason to hate Duke. All incoming freshman at Duke University…
It’s Outta Here!
In a recent column recapping baseball’s All-Star Weekend, Bill Simmons, AKA The Sports Guy, commented on…
A Swatch of Fresh Chicory Adds a Decorative Touch to Your Shiv
It looks like I’ll be putting up Martha Stewart for a few months. Okay, not just…
Wounded Duck
There’s a picture in the latest issue of Newsweek showing John Kerry playfully tossing a football…
From Right to Left
“Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch’s War on Journalism,” a new film documentary, aims to prove that Fox News…
I’m a Sandwich Artist
An actual exchange overheard at Subway today: Customer Behind Me: (Chipper) Hey there, can you tell…
The Tube
I’d watch more tv this summer, but I’m not really interested in any of the following…